Finding Joy

Hey Hey Hey my loves!

This week was a bit strange. The weather was not so great and I've been a little sick. But overall I would still say it was a good week. Sis. Fleming and I found a perfect title for this transfer. We named it "Chocolate, Rainstorms, and Running for Buses." Let me explain...

We have an Easter Campaign (https://www.lds.org/church/news/watch-and-share-because-he-lives-easter-video?lang=eng

)  where people can share this video on social media and/or order DVD's from the church. We (sis. Fleming and I) have gotten over 20 referrals from this campaign. Exciting, yes, but also very overwhelming.

Most of the referrals are in dorpjes (kind of like little villages in the country) which takes a long time to get out there. Sometime it's a joke where a friend of their's ordered it for them and they have no interest or they just have no interest beyond watching the DVD. 

Anyways, what we decided to do when we go out to these dorpjes is we would stop at a local chocolate shop and buy a piece of chocolate. (The rainstorms and running for buses seem pretty self-explanatory). 

On one particular day, this past week, it was pouring rain and we had about a 30-45 min. walk. We were soaking wet and I was freezing and already a little sick. As we were walking ,and the rain AND wind seem to be getting stronger, my companion says, "this is character building," (a sentence we often say when something seems hard). 

My reply: "I don't want to build anymore character. I'm fine where I am." I was half joking and half serious. The thought that immediately came to my mind was, "Why should I be fine where I am?" Why do we get comfortable where we are instead of wanting to be just a little bit better everyday. 

That has been something I've been working on, just a little bit more gratitude goes a long way. I want to get to the point where I enjoy correction because it makes me more humble and more aware of the potential happiness that is available to me if only I were to be searching for it.

I realize that my letters don't seem as long as usual. I'm sorry, I have to end here. It seems like every monday gets more and more busy. 

I have to end here. We're going to Brugge today - to a chocolate museum! 

Love you all! 

Hello Hello

Hey errrbody!

I've had a little bit of trouble trying to figure out what exactly to write you all this week. Nothing super crazy / life-changing has happened to us...yet. I'm not sure anything can really top my knee/ emergency room story. But after writing that sentence I probably just jinxed myself (and maybe my companion - sorry Sis. Fleming in the future). 

We had a really great Sisters' Conference, which basically consisted of the 40 sister missionaries that are in our mission. It was really nice to see my old companions again...and kind of weird. Every transfer feels like a completely new chapter in life so seeing your former companions was like going into the past even though it hasn't even been that long since I've seen them. 

In the second half of the conference we had all the sister training leaders speak to us. All were really great. They all talked about various subjects that we all experience on the mission. There was the occaional joke - "I feel like a cow in tall grass standing in front of you today - utterly tickled." The motivational/ inspirational quotes - "Ships are safe in the harbor but that's not what ships are made for." and "The task ahead of us is never as great as the power behind us." 

But the one that stood out to me the most was given by my sister training leader (the Antwerpen Zone), Sister Thomas. She talked about the story in Matt. 14: 24-29, where Peter walked on water to get to Christ and how we needed to have that desire to be able to walk on water (figuratively) to follow and walk the way Christ did. We can't swim to Him and we can't stay on the boat; we need to walk in His footsteps.

And the story in verses 16-24 about the 5 loaves and 2 fishes. How Christ took something that was inadequate and made it enough. We are the 5 loaves and the 2 fishes. We will always be inadequate but He will make us enough if we would only come to come. He doesn't expect perfection, He only expects progression. 

Oh, I just remembered something cool (tone change - sorry). We were riding our bikes and just happened to look up and we saw the solar eclipse on Friday. Luckily it was so cloudy that we were able to look at the sun. It was so awesome but we couldn't get our camera's out in time to capture the moment... jammer (bummer). 

Since it's our P-Day we're going to the castle and cathedrals today! I'm excited to see them all. I love being in a old city! I hope you all have a great week! I'll just leave you with a missionary joke that one of my MTC companions told me - Why do missionaries have such big blatters? - Becasue they only have one P-day a week. (bah dum bahm chah) 

Love, 

Zuster Begazo 

First Full Week

I realized in my last email that I didn't actually talk about Gent. I LOVE it here! The branch and people are amazing. Everyone is so loving and nice. It's so much fun being in an old city again. My companion, Sis. Fleming, and I have so much fun together. We joke around all the time. My whole knee incident was a good bonding experience for the both of us. lol 

Although now, she's gotten into this habit of introducing me to everyone we meet. It goes something like this - "This is Zuster Begazo, she's from New York and she can beatbox. Go ahead, do it for them. She's really good, go on, their waiting." One time, she did that to me in Brussels as we were surround by about 15 other missionaries. 

So in our companionship inventory (a thing we have do to make sure we are communicating) I told her she's not allowed to do that anymore lol. Her response - "No, I like doing it." My response - "Fine, then I'm going to introduce you." Sis. Fleming - "Okay. But I'm still not going to stop introducing you. It's fun." 

Last night I told Familie Geens (members from the branch) at dinner last night that she could fit her whole fist in her mouth. We both discovered her hidden talent, she could almost do it. Just wait, I'm going to get her to do crazy things this transfer. ahahhah

Anyways, Gent is so much bigger than Lelystad. I would say that the cities are nearly polar opposites. Lelystad is one of the newest cities in the mission and Gent is one of the oldest. The work is completely different as well.

 I'm teaching more lessons instead of finding; so it's an interesting experience developing my teaching skills. I'm still working on understanding the vlams (flemish/flement) accent. My goal is to acquire that accent because it sounds pretty. Even though there is rivalry between Belgium and Nederland. 

I think one of the reasons why I like vlams so much is because they use French words, which always gives me a nice reminder of my time and friends in France (whom I miss very much). Although sometimes, they don't use the French words the way French people do. But nonetheless, I still like it and it's fun to hear a French words slip in the conversation and I can understand. 

This week went by so fast, I don't even know what happened. But it's been so much fun getting to know and meet new people. Yesterday at church, everyone kept asking me about how my leg was doing. They were all really nice, but now I'm worried that I'll be remembered as the missionary who walked with a limp. lol But hey, at least I'll be remembered...I guess.

I really hope I get to stay here for 4 transfers (about 6 months). I'm excited to see what this transfer will entail seeing that it's only been the first week and so much has happened. Anyways, I love you all. See you next week! 

Open Wound

CAUTION: The following email is exactly what the title implies.

I really don't know where to begin in explaining what happened to me this week. It will probably be one of the craziest stories I'll take away from my mission. 

It all started on Monday. Because I was being transferred I wanted to say goodbye to all the families that have meant so much to me in Lelystad. As I was going to one such family, (on the very rainy Monday), I was going down hill and made a sharper left than I had intended; my back tire ended slipping on mud and I fell, with my bike on top of me, and skidded down the pavement for a few seconds. 

Long story short, the damage was just a scrapped knee and chin. Or so I thought. I woke up Friday morning and it was extremely painful to walk. Mind you, I've been walking with a limp since the incident happened. So, we decided that I needed to go to the emergency room (spoedgevallen - in Dutch -- a new word I learned trying to find out where it was). 

Just a small note - Belgian people are SUPER nice. I love it here! 

So we got there at around 10.50 am and wasn't able to a doctor until about 12. It was pretty nice because my new companion, Sis. Fleming, and I got to have a really nice heart-to-heart chat about our lives during our wait. Anyways, in that little room, they checked my knee and informed me that it was infected. I had to get x-rays to make sure none of my bones were broken - none were.

This is where the story begins...

So at about 12 we were moved into an examination room. A nurse comes in and tells us that everything is going to be okay but because it was infected, they needed to clean it. She could've stopped there but the nurse proceeded to give us a very vivid description of what would happen. \

Nurse: "I'm going to clean you knee." 

That seemed normal. 

Nurse: "So, what I'm going to do is, I'm going to give you a fresh wound." 

(Me in my head: "what?") 

Nurse: "Do you understand? I'm going to tear the scab off and then I'm going to take this brush and I'm going to scrub your knee down." 

(It's actually kind of hard to write this because I'm remembering the trauma.) 

The words were bad enough but I also had to watch her motions of what she would physcially do to me! As she was explaining it, I had my hand over my mouth, squeezing my face so I wouldn't scream. When she left I immediately turn to my companion - "okay! nothing's broken so we can leave now." I proceeded to get off the bed but Sis. Fleming said very calmly, "it's going to be okay. Just hold my hand, you can do this." 

The nurse came back in. And I began to freak out a little, while trying my hardest to be outwardly calm. 

Nurse: "So, I'm going to give you anesthesia so you won't feel it." 

I glanced over at the huge needle but I'm pretty sure that my terrified eyes magnifed it to about 3 times the actual size. 

She proceeded. I started to freak out. 

Zr. Fleming: "It's okay, it's okay. Talk to me. Talk to me." 

Me: "No, I don't wanna talk!" 

Zr. Fleming: "How many lessons did you teach?" 

Me: "I don't know!" 

Sis. Fleming: "Okay, tell me about our investigators. What are their names?" 

Me: "Ah! William, Evelien....Ah!" 

Sis. Fleming: "It's okay, you're doing great! look at me, what's your favorite lesson?" 

Me: "3rd Lesson! Ah!" 

Sis. Fleming: "okay, why is it your favorite?" 

Me: "Because it talks about the Gospel of Jesus Christ!" 

That went on for a few more minutes until I asked for more anesthesia. The anesthesia didn't work that well. I could feel her ripping off my scab. 

Nurse: "Okay, I'll give you some more. But it is working, you would feel a lot more pain." 

She proceeded to inject me again and I see Sis. Fleming's eyes move toward the direction of my knee and then back at me. As she looked at me, her face started to turn white and she said, "I shouldn't have looked." 

Sis. Fleming: " I think I need to sit down." 

Me: "you are sitting down." 

Nurse: "how about you sit on the floor." 

Sis. F: "that's a good idea." 

As she sat down the nurse suggested she lay down on the floor because she was really really pale. 

Nurse: "Here, put your feet up." 

Sis. F: "yeah, that's a good idea." 

As she layed down, and I was completely confused at the moment of what was really happening. Sis. Fleming's eyes went crossed-eyed and she fainted. 

Nurse: "it's okay. She'll come back." 

After about 45 seconds she woke back up and we all decided that it was better to have her keep her eyes shut for the rest of the procedure (even though I told her to leave the room). The nurse began to take the brush and scrub my knee. 

Nurse: "can you bend your knee up?" 

Me: "No, I can't" 

Nurse: "yes you can. here you go." 

Me: "ahhhhhh!" 

After it was all over the nurse lifted up my leg and made me look at it. I wanted to vomit. Blood was dripping down my leg. My leg was cleaned and bandaged and I was good to go. We were both given yoghurt and sent on our way. We couldn't stop laughing on the way home. I don't know my brain could fully comprehend the trauma of what I just went through. 

So that was my week. I haven't figured out the spiritual significance of it yet hahhahh :p I'll get back to you all later. Although, after the few days of talking about it, I realize how much of nerds we are. In an extreme/ traumatic expereince we managed to revert to talking about missionary work. Any mission president would be so proud of us lol. 

Love you all! Hope you have a great week! 

Lelystad

This week was such a busy one but we managed to get everything done that we needed to do which was very surprising. Everyday seems to be getting warmer which is great especially when a good part of the day is spent outside. It can only get better from here. We're even starting to see flowers bloom!

Last Monday we went to Amsterdam to see the Rijks Museum. We were only there for a few hours because we have to come back home for an appointment. Then on Tuesday we had an incredible Zone Conference. We even got to see a few clips of some of the missionaries in our mission on TV in Belgium and the Netherlands (this should be the link to my favorite one - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNvZfWFb7hA&feature=youtu.be)  and we got to see "Meet the Mormons."

One thing that really stuck out to me in the conference was when Sis. Robinson (wife of our mission President) spoke about what we needed to do in our missions and in our lives in order to have true happiness. In paraphrasing what the Prophet Joseph Smith said, she told us that there are 3 things that are necessary for our salvation. 

1. We have to know that Heavenly Father actually exists 

2. We have to have a correct idea of God which means we have to understand that He is perfect 

3. We have to have an actual knowledge that what we are doing is God's will 

To understand that God is completely perfect means that He cannot not do anything that is imperfect or create anything that isn't perfect. He is perfectly just. He cannot break the bounds of justice nor violate the law of agency. He cannot be arbitrary at all. 

He must and will execute judgment for our works and actions but the atonement of Jesus Christ allowed mercy to be added to the equation. President Robinson told us to break down the atonement in daily steps; in every prayer make a commitment to be better. 

God expects us to work and struggle at times. He also expects us to be obedient so that we will become who we need to be. We have to bear the responsibility for our lives and decisions and we cannot blame others or the circumstances we are in. 

In terms of having the knowledge that what we are doing is God's will is, for me, a bit more difficult. I've always worried about if I was where I was supposed to be and doing what I am supposed to be doing. And as I've made a conscious effort to understand that I've come to gain a testimony of it. 

But it's a question that we have to constantly ask ourselves. For example, I asked myself that question at least 15 times yesterday when I was getting really frustrated that all of our appointments were getting canceled. 

Last night, we got our transfer calls. I was so sure that I would be staying at least one more in Lelystad but (and I was really heartbroken) I am leaving. I wasn't done here yet. I've come to care so much about all the people I've met and the friends that I've made. 

And as I was sitting at my desk, so depressed and sad that I was leaving because I had so many plans for our next transfer, my companion turns to me and say, "Isn't it cool though? You know that you did what you needed to do here and now you're done and you can move on to the next place where you're needed." 

Sis. Doxey is amazing!  I don't know if I did anything significant here but I've learned so much from all the experiences, both good and bad; the knocking down of my faith and the rebuilding of it; the power and comfort of the atonement and God's love for His children. I've learned to not be afraid; that things will just seem to get harder sometimes,  but also better. 

I will miss Leystad, my baby-city! I am sad to go but curious as to what my next adventure will be. I will miss my investigators, my companion, and especially the members of the ward here, to whom I've become so close! Wish me luck in Gent, Belgium! I'll be going down there on Wednesday. 

Hope everyone will have a great week! Ik hou van jullie!