Finding Joy

Hey Hey Hey my loves!

This week was a bit strange. The weather was not so great and I've been a little sick. But overall I would still say it was a good week. Sis. Fleming and I found a perfect title for this transfer. We named it "Chocolate, Rainstorms, and Running for Buses." Let me explain...

We have an Easter Campaign (https://www.lds.org/church/news/watch-and-share-because-he-lives-easter-video?lang=eng

)  where people can share this video on social media and/or order DVD's from the church. We (sis. Fleming and I) have gotten over 20 referrals from this campaign. Exciting, yes, but also very overwhelming.

Most of the referrals are in dorpjes (kind of like little villages in the country) which takes a long time to get out there. Sometime it's a joke where a friend of their's ordered it for them and they have no interest or they just have no interest beyond watching the DVD. 

Anyways, what we decided to do when we go out to these dorpjes is we would stop at a local chocolate shop and buy a piece of chocolate. (The rainstorms and running for buses seem pretty self-explanatory). 

On one particular day, this past week, it was pouring rain and we had about a 30-45 min. walk. We were soaking wet and I was freezing and already a little sick. As we were walking ,and the rain AND wind seem to be getting stronger, my companion says, "this is character building," (a sentence we often say when something seems hard). 

My reply: "I don't want to build anymore character. I'm fine where I am." I was half joking and half serious. The thought that immediately came to my mind was, "Why should I be fine where I am?" Why do we get comfortable where we are instead of wanting to be just a little bit better everyday. 

That has been something I've been working on, just a little bit more gratitude goes a long way. I want to get to the point where I enjoy correction because it makes me more humble and more aware of the potential happiness that is available to me if only I were to be searching for it.

I realize that my letters don't seem as long as usual. I'm sorry, I have to end here. It seems like every monday gets more and more busy. 

I have to end here. We're going to Brugge today - to a chocolate museum! 

Love you all! 

Hello Hello

Hey errrbody!

I've had a little bit of trouble trying to figure out what exactly to write you all this week. Nothing super crazy / life-changing has happened to us...yet. I'm not sure anything can really top my knee/ emergency room story. But after writing that sentence I probably just jinxed myself (and maybe my companion - sorry Sis. Fleming in the future). 

We had a really great Sisters' Conference, which basically consisted of the 40 sister missionaries that are in our mission. It was really nice to see my old companions again...and kind of weird. Every transfer feels like a completely new chapter in life so seeing your former companions was like going into the past even though it hasn't even been that long since I've seen them. 

In the second half of the conference we had all the sister training leaders speak to us. All were really great. They all talked about various subjects that we all experience on the mission. There was the occaional joke - "I feel like a cow in tall grass standing in front of you today - utterly tickled." The motivational/ inspirational quotes - "Ships are safe in the harbor but that's not what ships are made for." and "The task ahead of us is never as great as the power behind us." 

But the one that stood out to me the most was given by my sister training leader (the Antwerpen Zone), Sister Thomas. She talked about the story in Matt. 14: 24-29, where Peter walked on water to get to Christ and how we needed to have that desire to be able to walk on water (figuratively) to follow and walk the way Christ did. We can't swim to Him and we can't stay on the boat; we need to walk in His footsteps.

And the story in verses 16-24 about the 5 loaves and 2 fishes. How Christ took something that was inadequate and made it enough. We are the 5 loaves and the 2 fishes. We will always be inadequate but He will make us enough if we would only come to come. He doesn't expect perfection, He only expects progression. 

Oh, I just remembered something cool (tone change - sorry). We were riding our bikes and just happened to look up and we saw the solar eclipse on Friday. Luckily it was so cloudy that we were able to look at the sun. It was so awesome but we couldn't get our camera's out in time to capture the moment... jammer (bummer). 

Since it's our P-Day we're going to the castle and cathedrals today! I'm excited to see them all. I love being in a old city! I hope you all have a great week! I'll just leave you with a missionary joke that one of my MTC companions told me - Why do missionaries have such big blatters? - Becasue they only have one P-day a week. (bah dum bahm chah) 

Love, 

Zuster Begazo 

First Full Week

I realized in my last email that I didn't actually talk about Gent. I LOVE it here! The branch and people are amazing. Everyone is so loving and nice. It's so much fun being in an old city again. My companion, Sis. Fleming, and I have so much fun together. We joke around all the time. My whole knee incident was a good bonding experience for the both of us. lol 

Although now, she's gotten into this habit of introducing me to everyone we meet. It goes something like this - "This is Zuster Begazo, she's from New York and she can beatbox. Go ahead, do it for them. She's really good, go on, their waiting." One time, she did that to me in Brussels as we were surround by about 15 other missionaries. 

So in our companionship inventory (a thing we have do to make sure we are communicating) I told her she's not allowed to do that anymore lol. Her response - "No, I like doing it." My response - "Fine, then I'm going to introduce you." Sis. Fleming - "Okay. But I'm still not going to stop introducing you. It's fun." 

Last night I told Familie Geens (members from the branch) at dinner last night that she could fit her whole fist in her mouth. We both discovered her hidden talent, she could almost do it. Just wait, I'm going to get her to do crazy things this transfer. ahahhah

Anyways, Gent is so much bigger than Lelystad. I would say that the cities are nearly polar opposites. Lelystad is one of the newest cities in the mission and Gent is one of the oldest. The work is completely different as well.

 I'm teaching more lessons instead of finding; so it's an interesting experience developing my teaching skills. I'm still working on understanding the vlams (flemish/flement) accent. My goal is to acquire that accent because it sounds pretty. Even though there is rivalry between Belgium and Nederland. 

I think one of the reasons why I like vlams so much is because they use French words, which always gives me a nice reminder of my time and friends in France (whom I miss very much). Although sometimes, they don't use the French words the way French people do. But nonetheless, I still like it and it's fun to hear a French words slip in the conversation and I can understand. 

This week went by so fast, I don't even know what happened. But it's been so much fun getting to know and meet new people. Yesterday at church, everyone kept asking me about how my leg was doing. They were all really nice, but now I'm worried that I'll be remembered as the missionary who walked with a limp. lol But hey, at least I'll be remembered...I guess.

I really hope I get to stay here for 4 transfers (about 6 months). I'm excited to see what this transfer will entail seeing that it's only been the first week and so much has happened. Anyways, I love you all. See you next week! 

Open Wound

CAUTION: The following email is exactly what the title implies.

I really don't know where to begin in explaining what happened to me this week. It will probably be one of the craziest stories I'll take away from my mission. 

It all started on Monday. Because I was being transferred I wanted to say goodbye to all the families that have meant so much to me in Lelystad. As I was going to one such family, (on the very rainy Monday), I was going down hill and made a sharper left than I had intended; my back tire ended slipping on mud and I fell, with my bike on top of me, and skidded down the pavement for a few seconds. 

Long story short, the damage was just a scrapped knee and chin. Or so I thought. I woke up Friday morning and it was extremely painful to walk. Mind you, I've been walking with a limp since the incident happened. So, we decided that I needed to go to the emergency room (spoedgevallen - in Dutch -- a new word I learned trying to find out where it was). 

Just a small note - Belgian people are SUPER nice. I love it here! 

So we got there at around 10.50 am and wasn't able to a doctor until about 12. It was pretty nice because my new companion, Sis. Fleming, and I got to have a really nice heart-to-heart chat about our lives during our wait. Anyways, in that little room, they checked my knee and informed me that it was infected. I had to get x-rays to make sure none of my bones were broken - none were.

This is where the story begins...

So at about 12 we were moved into an examination room. A nurse comes in and tells us that everything is going to be okay but because it was infected, they needed to clean it. She could've stopped there but the nurse proceeded to give us a very vivid description of what would happen. \

Nurse: "I'm going to clean you knee." 

That seemed normal. 

Nurse: "So, what I'm going to do is, I'm going to give you a fresh wound." 

(Me in my head: "what?") 

Nurse: "Do you understand? I'm going to tear the scab off and then I'm going to take this brush and I'm going to scrub your knee down." 

(It's actually kind of hard to write this because I'm remembering the trauma.) 

The words were bad enough but I also had to watch her motions of what she would physcially do to me! As she was explaining it, I had my hand over my mouth, squeezing my face so I wouldn't scream. When she left I immediately turn to my companion - "okay! nothing's broken so we can leave now." I proceeded to get off the bed but Sis. Fleming said very calmly, "it's going to be okay. Just hold my hand, you can do this." 

The nurse came back in. And I began to freak out a little, while trying my hardest to be outwardly calm. 

Nurse: "So, I'm going to give you anesthesia so you won't feel it." 

I glanced over at the huge needle but I'm pretty sure that my terrified eyes magnifed it to about 3 times the actual size. 

She proceeded. I started to freak out. 

Zr. Fleming: "It's okay, it's okay. Talk to me. Talk to me." 

Me: "No, I don't wanna talk!" 

Zr. Fleming: "How many lessons did you teach?" 

Me: "I don't know!" 

Sis. Fleming: "Okay, tell me about our investigators. What are their names?" 

Me: "Ah! William, Evelien....Ah!" 

Sis. Fleming: "It's okay, you're doing great! look at me, what's your favorite lesson?" 

Me: "3rd Lesson! Ah!" 

Sis. Fleming: "okay, why is it your favorite?" 

Me: "Because it talks about the Gospel of Jesus Christ!" 

That went on for a few more minutes until I asked for more anesthesia. The anesthesia didn't work that well. I could feel her ripping off my scab. 

Nurse: "Okay, I'll give you some more. But it is working, you would feel a lot more pain." 

She proceeded to inject me again and I see Sis. Fleming's eyes move toward the direction of my knee and then back at me. As she looked at me, her face started to turn white and she said, "I shouldn't have looked." 

Sis. Fleming: " I think I need to sit down." 

Me: "you are sitting down." 

Nurse: "how about you sit on the floor." 

Sis. F: "that's a good idea." 

As she sat down the nurse suggested she lay down on the floor because she was really really pale. 

Nurse: "Here, put your feet up." 

Sis. F: "yeah, that's a good idea." 

As she layed down, and I was completely confused at the moment of what was really happening. Sis. Fleming's eyes went crossed-eyed and she fainted. 

Nurse: "it's okay. She'll come back." 

After about 45 seconds she woke back up and we all decided that it was better to have her keep her eyes shut for the rest of the procedure (even though I told her to leave the room). The nurse began to take the brush and scrub my knee. 

Nurse: "can you bend your knee up?" 

Me: "No, I can't" 

Nurse: "yes you can. here you go." 

Me: "ahhhhhh!" 

After it was all over the nurse lifted up my leg and made me look at it. I wanted to vomit. Blood was dripping down my leg. My leg was cleaned and bandaged and I was good to go. We were both given yoghurt and sent on our way. We couldn't stop laughing on the way home. I don't know my brain could fully comprehend the trauma of what I just went through. 

So that was my week. I haven't figured out the spiritual significance of it yet hahhahh :p I'll get back to you all later. Although, after the few days of talking about it, I realize how much of nerds we are. In an extreme/ traumatic expereince we managed to revert to talking about missionary work. Any mission president would be so proud of us lol. 

Love you all! Hope you have a great week! 

Lelystad

This week was such a busy one but we managed to get everything done that we needed to do which was very surprising. Everyday seems to be getting warmer which is great especially when a good part of the day is spent outside. It can only get better from here. We're even starting to see flowers bloom!

Last Monday we went to Amsterdam to see the Rijks Museum. We were only there for a few hours because we have to come back home for an appointment. Then on Tuesday we had an incredible Zone Conference. We even got to see a few clips of some of the missionaries in our mission on TV in Belgium and the Netherlands (this should be the link to my favorite one - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNvZfWFb7hA&feature=youtu.be)  and we got to see "Meet the Mormons."

One thing that really stuck out to me in the conference was when Sis. Robinson (wife of our mission President) spoke about what we needed to do in our missions and in our lives in order to have true happiness. In paraphrasing what the Prophet Joseph Smith said, she told us that there are 3 things that are necessary for our salvation. 

1. We have to know that Heavenly Father actually exists 

2. We have to have a correct idea of God which means we have to understand that He is perfect 

3. We have to have an actual knowledge that what we are doing is God's will 

To understand that God is completely perfect means that He cannot not do anything that is imperfect or create anything that isn't perfect. He is perfectly just. He cannot break the bounds of justice nor violate the law of agency. He cannot be arbitrary at all. 

He must and will execute judgment for our works and actions but the atonement of Jesus Christ allowed mercy to be added to the equation. President Robinson told us to break down the atonement in daily steps; in every prayer make a commitment to be better. 

God expects us to work and struggle at times. He also expects us to be obedient so that we will become who we need to be. We have to bear the responsibility for our lives and decisions and we cannot blame others or the circumstances we are in. 

In terms of having the knowledge that what we are doing is God's will is, for me, a bit more difficult. I've always worried about if I was where I was supposed to be and doing what I am supposed to be doing. And as I've made a conscious effort to understand that I've come to gain a testimony of it. 

But it's a question that we have to constantly ask ourselves. For example, I asked myself that question at least 15 times yesterday when I was getting really frustrated that all of our appointments were getting canceled. 

Last night, we got our transfer calls. I was so sure that I would be staying at least one more in Lelystad but (and I was really heartbroken) I am leaving. I wasn't done here yet. I've come to care so much about all the people I've met and the friends that I've made. 

And as I was sitting at my desk, so depressed and sad that I was leaving because I had so many plans for our next transfer, my companion turns to me and say, "Isn't it cool though? You know that you did what you needed to do here and now you're done and you can move on to the next place where you're needed." 

Sis. Doxey is amazing!  I don't know if I did anything significant here but I've learned so much from all the experiences, both good and bad; the knocking down of my faith and the rebuilding of it; the power and comfort of the atonement and God's love for His children. I've learned to not be afraid; that things will just seem to get harder sometimes,  but also better. 

I will miss Leystad, my baby-city! I am sad to go but curious as to what my next adventure will be. I will miss my investigators, my companion, and especially the members of the ward here, to whom I've become so close! Wish me luck in Gent, Belgium! I'll be going down there on Wednesday. 

Hope everyone will have a great week! Ik hou van jullie!  

This week...

Jen's weekly entry:

One of the best things about a mission is that you get slapped in the face with humility almost on a daily basis. (Sarcasm) And it does almost feel like you've literally been slapped. But I am grateful for that because I am learning that sometimes, in certain situations, there really isn't a good or a bad; it just is something to give you experience. The good or bad comes in when we add emotion to it, and of course, how can we not add emotion to it; we are human. 

This past week was one of the more significant weeks of my time in this land thus far. I would like to write about my entire week, but since I'm only allotted a certain amount of time, I'll only share one of the stories with you.

In order to properly set the stage, I will give some background. It all started about 2 weeks or a week and a half ago. You see, one way we contact people is sharing with them pass-along cards; they have our number and the address of our church building on the back of it, along with the mormon.org website. 

99% percent of the time no one ever gives us a call (and we've talked to other missionaries about this and they said, during their whole mission, this has never happened). Well, about a week and a half ago, TWO people called us from the number on the back of our card and had wanted to set up a meeting with us to learn more. 

And as you can guess, of course we were ecstatic to set up an appointment and talk with them. Wednesday we had an appointment with the second caller, (now this second caller was very important to me because it was late at night and my companion wanted to go in because we had a lot of other stuff we needed to take care of but I had this prompting to go out and look for one more person - and it was him) and to say the least, it was nothing of what we had hoped for. 

He really came only to lecture us about studying the philosophy of the Bible. He asked us questions like what we thought about each particular aspect of Solomon's wives and things like that.  When he would ask us questions, before we even had time to answer, he would cut us off, and go to the next person and say, "since she has nothing to say, what do you think?" He would do that every time we tried to speak or at least answer one of the questions he asked.

Now, as any normal person would, I began to get frustrated BUT before I let myself become so, I had a revelation! "Do you know,"I thought to myself, "that he is a child of God and that you must love him?" (Again Sarcasm) But I really pondered about that statement during that meeting and so, I began to pray to God to help me love him and to know that God loved him and has a plan and a purpose for him. 

Love, in every sense of the word, is in no way easy for me to quickly possess. It is not a natural thing for me to do, especially if someone is attacking me without giving me a chance to explain or express my opinion. But I also know, that you can love someone without ever even liking them. As I prayed, in all earnestness, the anger and frustration completely left my heart. Mind you, the verbal attack did not leave me, in fact near the end it just seem to become more aggressive but comfort came to help me bear it with patience. 

After the appointment finished and we were walking back home, we (my companion, our joint-teach, and myself included) were all silent at first until I said, "Well, it's not a mission if we don't get people like that." Everyone laughed. As we discussed what just had happened I had another revelation (not sarcasm), God still wins. 

Whether or not that guy will ever want to know more or gain a testimony of God, his opinions do not determine the existence or reality of God and His love for us. "At the end of the day," our friend said, "I still have my testimony and I'm truly happy in my life."

After that experience, my companion and I were a bit worried about our appointment for the next day with the first caller. We had no reason to be because that appointment went great. He asked us really good questions and then actually let us speak to give him an answer. He's a super cool guy and I was truly grateful for both experiences because I couldn't have appreciated the second appointment as much as I did if I had not gone through the first. 

There's a quote that I like that says, "If you could see the size of the blessing coming, you would understanding the magnitude of the battle you are fighting." And since I don't think I could have said it any better, I will leave you at that. Hope you all have a great week! Transfers are next week which is crazy! I can't believe I'll be in my 3rd transfer already, we only get 12 and I'll be a quarter of the way done with my mission. My companion and I are pretty sure that I'll stay in Lelystad for at least one more. 

Love you all! 

If I can do nothing else...

Jen's Portion of this week's blog:

This week was a pretty great week! We got 4 new investigators and taught 8 lessons!  I realize those numbers don't seem that big, but for us that is a huge improvement. Neither of us have taught that many lessons in one week before.

It actually started out kind of rough, just for me personally. Last Monday evening I taught my first lesson in Dutch. It didn't go as well as I would have hoped but it still went okay being that it was my first time ever doing it. By the end of it, one of the guys said to me, "You don't speak it (Dutch) as well hahaha," then he turns to my companion, "Yeah, I can see you speak much better."

Now, usually, a comment like that would be have not bothered or hurt me as much as it did, but when you do absolutely all you can; when you put ALL your effort in trying your best and someone points out your shortcomings, a comment like that feels like a knife to the heart. 

I know that I can't speak this language as fluent as I would like yet. I must have patience. I will get better. I've only been out about 2 1/2 months in the land, and had about 5 weeks of "Dutch language classes" before then. I am a beginner. 

The previous paragraph was what I told myself to try and make myself feel better but it didn't really work. I was bothered by his comment up until Wednesday when I had to teach my second lesson in Dutch to another woman. 

On Tuesday, I was stressing out so much about being able to teach as clearly as I would like. I was praying non-stop that I would finally be given the gift of tongues and be able to speak without thinking about how to translate 

On Wednesday morning, I asked myself why did I really even care about what that random guy thought about me and my ability to speak/learn another language. Last week my mom sent me an email asking me about what I thought it meant in 2 Nephi 9:18 where it says - they have endured the crosses of the world and despised the shame of it. I thought it could mean that they are not ashamed of being persecuted for what they believe in; or have fear of persecution in general.

For the past few weeks I've been thinking about the verse in the scriptures which talks about fearing man more than God. And I've been analyzing that "fear" for myself. Caring about what that man thought of me meant that I was afraid of him; afraid in the sense of his judgment. I let his judgment mean more to mean than it should've. 

To let another's opinion of me mean more than God's opinion of me meant that I have feared man more than God. And I decided to change that. Thus, on Wednesday afternoon, we walked into the woman's house, and just as we sat down she immediately asked, "So, which one of you speaks better?" 

I could have easily let that question bring doubt into my mind about myself again but instead, I immediately thought to myself, "If I can do nothing else, (if I couldn't speak the language, if I couldn't teach as well as I would like) I will have faith." Faith that one day I would be able to do it. 

That lesson went incredible, I didn't stumble or stutter. I was able to speak and teach clearly my portion of the lesson and by the end of it, she looked over at me and said, "You speak really really well." 

So that has been my attitude since then. I have officially decided not to care at all about the judgments of others; to move on, and to keep trying. And if I can do nothing else, I will have faith. 

Oh, and Happy Belated Valentine's Day! 

Linda's Portion of this week's blog:

Jen challenged me to read the Book of Mormon everyday in one of her emails that have been  just between us.  I was really inspired to do it because I have seen the great change that has taken place in her life, while she has been on her mission and even though I have been a member for the last 24 years and 22 months of my 45 years, I can honestly say that doing anything on a steady day to day basis has been hard for me to do.

But I have been very dedicated to committing myself to doing this .  And I can honestly say that it does not necessarily mean that life gets easier.  But I have noticed small changes happening in my life, on the inside and on the outside.

I am the kind of person who loves to multitask and so instead of sitting on the comfy sofa to read my scriptures, I sit on the floor, with legs widely stretched out into a chinese split.  It's not perfectly there yet, but I know that with daily practice it will come to be.  Aside from this, I am learning to rely more on the Holy Spirit for guidance and this is seen in the relaxed expression on my face instead of the stressed out look I normally carry around because I am trying to do too much, 

On the inside I am starting to listen more to the still small voice as it guides me in times of great stress and am beginning to take more responsibility for why my life is not as amazing as I want and know it can be.  See, I have 2 children who I believe have sensory processing problems, and I homeschool them as well as I have a nursing toddler who is planning on being either a scientist or an engineer when he grows up, judging from the amount of water mixed with food experiments I clean up every hour.  That alone is enough to keep a person occupied 24 hours a day.  But on top of it I am taking online art classes to develop my skills as an illustrator so that I can illustrate the children's books I have written over the years.  And on top of that we are still moving into our home we bought back in Nov.2014.  So, can you see how easy it could be to loose my cool throughout the day?

Here are some scriptures that spoke to my heart this week:  

I must tell you that I have found that pieces of a scripture verse have made me loose my breath and this is what I share with you here:

...For I, the Lord, the King of Heaven, will be their King, and I will be a light unto them forever, that hear my words.

 Nephi 10:14

...He proveth all his words.  2 Nephi 11:3

...My soul delighteth in the covenants of the Lord which He had made to our Fathers.  2 Nephi 11:5

(I divided this verse into 2 parts to ponder throughout my day.)

Yea, my soul delighteth in His grace, and in His justice, and power, and mercy in the great and eternal plan of deliverance from death.  2 Nephi 11: 5

...Save Christ should come, all men must perish.  2 Nephi 11:6

...Come ye and let us walk in the light of the Lord.  2 Nephi 12:5

I know that as I exercise faith and show hope in these verses by the actions that I take in my life, that in the end it will all be alright and I will have lived a life that I can be proud of.

I have more to share on this matter but I am an oversharer and I have to watch that side of me.  If any of you want to hear more, just email me with your comments and I will share more. You can find my  email by going to my website at www.ruoiled.com and then clicking on the contact tab.  Or you can facebook me at 

https://www.facebook.com/linda.corderoiglesia

May your day be filled with light!

Sincerely, Linda