Jen's Portion of this week's blog:
This week was a pretty great week! We got 4 new investigators and taught 8 lessons! I realize those numbers don't seem that big, but for us that is a huge improvement. Neither of us have taught that many lessons in one week before.
It actually started out kind of rough, just for me personally. Last Monday evening I taught my first lesson in Dutch. It didn't go as well as I would have hoped but it still went okay being that it was my first time ever doing it. By the end of it, one of the guys said to me, "You don't speak it (Dutch) as well hahaha," then he turns to my companion, "Yeah, I can see you speak much better."
Now, usually, a comment like that would be have not bothered or hurt me as much as it did, but when you do absolutely all you can; when you put ALL your effort in trying your best and someone points out your shortcomings, a comment like that feels like a knife to the heart.
I know that I can't speak this language as fluent as I would like yet. I must have patience. I will get better. I've only been out about 2 1/2 months in the land, and had about 5 weeks of "Dutch language classes" before then. I am a beginner.
The previous paragraph was what I told myself to try and make myself feel better but it didn't really work. I was bothered by his comment up until Wednesday when I had to teach my second lesson in Dutch to another woman.
On Tuesday, I was stressing out so much about being able to teach as clearly as I would like. I was praying non-stop that I would finally be given the gift of tongues and be able to speak without thinking about how to translate
On Wednesday morning, I asked myself why did I really even care about what that random guy thought about me and my ability to speak/learn another language. Last week my mom sent me an email asking me about what I thought it meant in 2 Nephi 9:18 where it says - they have endured the crosses of the world and despised the shame of it. I thought it could mean that they are not ashamed of being persecuted for what they believe in; or have fear of persecution in general.
For the past few weeks I've been thinking about the verse in the scriptures which talks about fearing man more than God. And I've been analyzing that "fear" for myself. Caring about what that man thought of me meant that I was afraid of him; afraid in the sense of his judgment. I let his judgment mean more to mean than it should've.
To let another's opinion of me mean more than God's opinion of me meant that I have feared man more than God. And I decided to change that. Thus, on Wednesday afternoon, we walked into the woman's house, and just as we sat down she immediately asked, "So, which one of you speaks better?"
I could have easily let that question bring doubt into my mind about myself again but instead, I immediately thought to myself, "If I can do nothing else, (if I couldn't speak the language, if I couldn't teach as well as I would like) I will have faith." Faith that one day I would be able to do it.
That lesson went incredible, I didn't stumble or stutter. I was able to speak and teach clearly my portion of the lesson and by the end of it, she looked over at me and said, "You speak really really well."
So that has been my attitude since then. I have officially decided not to care at all about the judgments of others; to move on, and to keep trying. And if I can do nothing else, I will have faith.
Oh, and Happy Belated Valentine's Day!
Linda's Portion of this week's blog:
Jen challenged me to read the Book of Mormon everyday in one of her emails that have been just between us. I was really inspired to do it because I have seen the great change that has taken place in her life, while she has been on her mission and even though I have been a member for the last 24 years and 22 months of my 45 years, I can honestly say that doing anything on a steady day to day basis has been hard for me to do.
But I have been very dedicated to committing myself to doing this . And I can honestly say that it does not necessarily mean that life gets easier. But I have noticed small changes happening in my life, on the inside and on the outside.
I am the kind of person who loves to multitask and so instead of sitting on the comfy sofa to read my scriptures, I sit on the floor, with legs widely stretched out into a chinese split. It's not perfectly there yet, but I know that with daily practice it will come to be. Aside from this, I am learning to rely more on the Holy Spirit for guidance and this is seen in the relaxed expression on my face instead of the stressed out look I normally carry around because I am trying to do too much,
On the inside I am starting to listen more to the still small voice as it guides me in times of great stress and am beginning to take more responsibility for why my life is not as amazing as I want and know it can be. See, I have 2 children who I believe have sensory processing problems, and I homeschool them as well as I have a nursing toddler who is planning on being either a scientist or an engineer when he grows up, judging from the amount of water mixed with food experiments I clean up every hour. That alone is enough to keep a person occupied 24 hours a day. But on top of it I am taking online art classes to develop my skills as an illustrator so that I can illustrate the children's books I have written over the years. And on top of that we are still moving into our home we bought back in Nov.2014. So, can you see how easy it could be to loose my cool throughout the day?
Here are some scriptures that spoke to my heart this week:
I must tell you that I have found that pieces of a scripture verse have made me loose my breath and this is what I share with you here:
...For I, the Lord, the King of Heaven, will be their King, and I will be a light unto them forever, that hear my words.
Nephi 10:14
...He proveth all his words. 2 Nephi 11:3
...My soul delighteth in the covenants of the Lord which He had made to our Fathers. 2 Nephi 11:5
(I divided this verse into 2 parts to ponder throughout my day.)
Yea, my soul delighteth in His grace, and in His justice, and power, and mercy in the great and eternal plan of deliverance from death. 2 Nephi 11: 5
...Save Christ should come, all men must perish. 2 Nephi 11:6
...Come ye and let us walk in the light of the Lord. 2 Nephi 12:5
I know that as I exercise faith and show hope in these verses by the actions that I take in my life, that in the end it will all be alright and I will have lived a life that I can be proud of.
I have more to share on this matter but I am an oversharer and I have to watch that side of me. If any of you want to hear more, just email me with your comments and I will share more. You can find my email by going to my website at www.ruoiled.com and then clicking on the contact tab. Or you can facebook me at
May your day be filled with light!
Sincerely, Linda
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