Mouse Story Continued....

                                                               (    Image on Etsy  )

Hey everyone,

So, I'll just recap from 2 weeks ago about the mouse in the house...

Now, those of you who know me, might know that a lot of things in this life does not scare me. Walking through pitch-black alleyways to go home - doesn't scare me. Having to deal with drunk guys asking me to marry them - doesn't scare (that actually annoys me more than anything). Going to foreign countries with a language that I don't speak - doesn't scare.

What does scare me, if you really must know is RODENTS! I hate them. I just hate them and I cannot help but scream when I see them. I actually sometimes freeze up and can't move but all I see is diseases and yucky-ness. When I had an apartment in the Bronx and saw a mouse, I moved out the next day.

Anyways, we got home at about 10:55 pm. We were sitting at our desks daily planning and I see out of the corner of my eye something brown and I look over and there is a mouse running into our room. I let out a tortured scream to which scares the crap out of Kimmons. The next hour becomes quite interesting. Kimmons, after calming down her heartbeat, goes into room, to look for the mouse. After pulling out everything and setting things on our beds she finally sees it behind my closet.

To keep a long story short because I don't have a lot of time. We came up with a plan of which I had to be a part. Kimmons choice of weapons was a stick (which we use to open our windows) and a plastic bowl to capture the mouse. I held a binder to place on top of the bowl. During the capture I was standing on the wood-frame of Kimmons' bed, she needed me in there because I was her eyes (she's practically blind without her glasses/contacts...well not really but kind of -hee hee).

We closed our door, got our weapons of choice ready, had the room arranged precisely so kimmons could run in between everything to catch it and then the battle began. That little squeak was soooooo fast that it took us 45 minutes to catch him. That process entailed Kimmons running back and forth, scaring it one way and trying to get it another; all the while I was standing on the bed, holding the red and gray binder close to my chest with one hand and cupping my mouth with the other so I didn't scream because it messed kimmons up.

I couldn't help but shake (/ quietly scream into my hand) every time I saw it. I tried my absolute best not to scream as I told Kimmons, "He's over there...now he ran there...he's here...he's right here....ahahhahahah....get 'em, get 'em!" At 11:45 pm we caught him. As Kimmons caught him she sang, "We are the champions...we are the champions!" We didn't know how to get him out because our landlord built something above our balcony doors and they didn't open wide enough. So, what we ended up doing was, I had an idea where we took a trash bag and slipped it under and around the bowl. I ran and opened our doors and we took that thing far away from our apartment. We got back at12:01 am but I didn't go to sleep until about 12:35 am because I was cleaning/bleaching/disinfecting our room. Ugh - so gross. But it was a pretty funny adventure to end a pretty good p-day.

...Now on to something a little more spiritual...

So for a few days during my personal study I've been studying about suffering and repentance. A few transfers ago someone told me that if we truly, really, whole-heartedly wanted to become like the Savior, which in turn become like God because the Savior came to set the example then we inevitably have to suffer; that's why suffering and opposition exists - to make us become better and refine us - which is a life-long process. Lately, our mission president has emphasized  the importance of understanding that repentance is a gift rather than a punishment for being human.

And yesterday, as I was pondering this in church, I had two ideas:

1. In internalizing the gift of repentance, we have to change our initial reactions to particular circumstances and stressful situations. In the scriptures, particularly in the Bible Dictionary it says that repentance is a new view of the world (or situation - I can't remember the words exactly), of God and of ourselves. As you study it through the references in the Topical Guide, you read many verses where it tells you to turn and to return to God. Return to what we once knew, to what we promised, and to what we once felt and experienced. And that's what we are here on earth to do - to prepare to return to God. There was a quote that I liked that I saw a members house one time which said, "If you think that God has turned His back on you, TURN AROUND."

2. With the natural man comes the predisposition to sin. Humans were made imperfect and to sin in order to help us or rather allow us the ability to apply the atonement in our daily life - in every moment of our day. Tiring? You might think so, but as we grow deeper in our conviction and testimony of and relationship with God and His plan for us then our strength to endure and keep moving upward increases.

As my understanding and personal experience with the process (and it is, indeed, a process) of repentance grows, I'm learning that it really is not a punishment for us but rather a key to open the door to the grace the atonement of Jesus Christ allows us; that comes through constant prayer and scripture study and our constant effort to be better than the day before. Everything worthwhile in this life takes enduring work. Turning and returning is really hard - but the first initial step is always the hardest and there is a promise that it really does get easier. Men are that they might have joy. I bear testimony of that.

I hope you all have a great week and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

(Just in case the image link breaks in the future- it is found at this address on the web-  https://www.etsy.com/listing/242715252/needle-felt-mouse-angel-of-home-in-a?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=mouse&ref=sr_gallery_13  )

It Happened Again....(transfers).... and part 1 of the mouse story....

                                         

http://www.mitie.com/services/specialist-services/pest-control/rodent-control/rodents

Hey everyone!

So, an update with transfers, in case you were wondering, Sis. Kimmons is going up to Leeuwarden and Sis. Hanny is coming to IJmuiden with me. For those who were on my email list at the time of Gent, it is the same Sister Hanny that was with me in our adventure of the Draw Bridge. So you can expect crazy stories with us two. This is going to probably be one of the best and most fun transfers on my mission; not to mention that this transfer includes Christmas, New Years, AND my birthday!!! whoo hoo! We're both very excited. Yesterday she called me and she said that she hit the triple bonus with this one. We've only been talking about being companions in the land for our entire mission and this was the last chance that we could do it.

The past two weeks have been really great. Kimmons and I make try to create fun in the dull and busy moments. On the 5th of Dec. (Sinter Klaas) Cynthia and Jadon got baptized. It was so great! Everything worked, nothing with horribly wrong, all the people that needed to be there were there, it was just perfect; my smoothest baptism yet. You'd be surprised at how many things can go wrong all at once.  

Jadon, a 10-year-old kid, is just so incredible. I remember the first time we spoke with him when he said that he wanted to get baptized. I showed him a calendar and asked when he wanted to and his quick and rapidly fired response was, "As soon as possible! If I can be baptized on this day when I want to be baptized on this day." "well," I said, "Jadon, that was yesterday..."

The Sunday after they were able to bear their testimony in Sacrament meeting. Jadon was first and he said, "Good morning Brothers and Sisters. I am so happy that I am a member now and I realized how much I have learned. I now know how important family is and you all are my family now." Several members just began crying.

When we went by this past week, we had him re-teach us a lesson and I let him wear my nametag but he's so desperate to get one. As he was wearing it, he said, "Wow, I love teaching. I can't wait to be a missionary and do what you guys do!"

We went to the Anne Frank Huis this week, I personally think that the Corrie Ten Boom Huis was better, but it was still cool to visit and hangout in Amsterdam. But I would say an exciting / interesting that happened to me was Saturday night when we came home at 11pm because of Stake Conference.

I call this - De Muis in Het Huis (the mouse in the house)

Now, those of you who know me, might know that a lot of things in this life does not scare me. Walking through pitch-black alleyways to go home - doesn't scare me. Having to deal with drunk guys asking me to marry them - doesn't scare (that actually annoys me more than anything). Going to foreign countries with a language that I don't speak - doesn't scare.

What does scare me, if you really must know is RODENTS! I hate them. I just hate them and I cannot help but scream when I see them. I actually sometimes freeze up and can't move but all I see is diseases and yucky-ness. When I had an apartment in the Bronx and saw a mouse, I moved out the next day.

Anyways, we got home at about 10:55 pm. We were sitting at our desks daily planning and I see out of the corner of my eye something brown and I look over and there is a mouse running into our room. I let out a tortured scream to which scares the crap out of Kimmons. The next hour becomes quite interesting. Kimmons, after calming down her heartbeat, goes into room, to look for the mouse. After pulling out everything and setting things on our beds she finally sees it behind my closet.

To keep a long story short because I don't have a lot of time. We came up with a plan of which I had to be a part. Kimmons choice of weapons was a stick (which we use to open our windows) and a plastic bowl to capture the mouse.

ahh. I'm sorry to do this but I'm out of time. I will finish the story next time.

love you all, don't hate :) bye.

A Sseason of Thanksgiving

http://www.frugalwoods.com/2014/07/28/travel-cheap-by-being-a-thanksgiving-weirdo/

Hello everyone, 

It has been a crazy couple of weeks but we've survived. As usual, I don't have that much time but I've wanted to write about this for a while - it's something that I've pondered more and more about and now have a little better understanding of it. 

For those, on my email list who are not familiar with the vocabulary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, when I speak (or write, rather) of the atonement of Jesus Christ, I am referring to the event in the Bible when Christ suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane, suffered and died on the cross, and was resurrected. The atonement, as I grow in my knowledge and understanding of it, has come to mean so much more to me as I learn how to apply it in my daily life. 

But what really is the atonement, you may ask. To explain it as simply as I know how is when Christ took upon himself ALL of the sins and weaknesses of everyone, In short, He experienced the lives of people who were, are, and will be and through His suffering we are given the gift of repentance; through His resurrection, we too will overcome physical death and become resurrected. 

So yes, my brain knew and understood (on a very shallow level) all of that before I came on a mission. But what the atonement meant for me personally, I had no idea. I mean, I had somewhat of an idea but I could not say so with as much sincerity and conviction as I now can. I never really understood what it meant when people said, "yeah, I use the atonement everyday to help me." (You do so through prayer and partaking of the sacrament, btw). 

Why am I writing all of this? Good question. A few weeks ago I was asked to give a talk in sacrament meeting - the subject was around the talk in General Conference in April - "Returning to the Faith." I briefly said that when I was younger I had experienced abuse and that I had to learn how to constantly return to what I believed or what I so desperately wanted to believe was true. That God, Heavenly Father, really does love us and that He really will help us in anything we ask. 

After sacrament meeting, so many members came up to me with tear-filled eyes and said that they were abused too. Some, who never in my life I would imagine doing this, gave me a hug and said how much they appreciated my talk. (By the way, a quick shout-out to the wonderful Natasha Van De Wetering for helping in the correction of my Dutch. I love her!). 

Two very interesting things happened after giving that talk that really affected me. One member, after church, asked us if we could come over for lunch some time so I could give her a copy of my talk because she's writing a book about her life and she wants to put it in there. At the lunch she said that when she was listening to my talk she sat there confused, thinking to herself, "This was my life." 

It was a huge compliment to have her say that I reminded her of herself. She went on a mission for 18 months (the same kind of mission that we do now) in Germany when she was 65 years old. She's 82 now, but she doesn't look nor act like it. She said that when she wanted to go (she said that she didn't want to serve a mission in the Temple because she thought it would be too boring) her bishop laughed at her but told her to ask the stake president. She went to her eldest daughter (did I mention that she raised 5 kids, both of her husbands were not members of the church and wouldn't let her talk about it to her children, yet all of her children has joined and raised their children in the church) who gave her this advice, "Mom, Heavenly Father knows what you can do and you know what you can do. Go for it." 

She said that her first 2 companions, when she was got there, told her that she could take a nap in the middle of the day if she needed. She refused to do so and went out and did the work with them. "They would come home, exhausted," she said, "and  would just lay on the couch while I made dinner and did the laundry. I already had 5 children." I could go on further about how amazing she is, but due to the lack of time I'll just say that she gave me so much hope for who I could become in my future. I've found another hero, as I've been able to do in every one of my cities. 

Anyways, the second thing happened when I was talking to one of my companions a few days ago. We were talking about her past and the abuse that she went through. "I didn't even realize that that was abuse. I thought that that was normal." she said. Somewhere in the conversation she said, "I'm just broken..." The thought had been forming in my mind for awhile, but I had yet to say it aloud. I replied, "Maybe that's a good thing. Our aim in life is have Christ in our countenance and being broken allows the atonement to fill in the cracks. It's what allows us to call upon the atonement to be healed and strengthened."

Lately I've been praying for the atonement to heal what has happened to my mind and body. Abuse has that much power to affect your mind; to warp it and cause lasting damage. I've come to realize that it's okay. It's okay that I was abused but I don't need to stay there. It's okay to feel the way the that I've felt and that it's also okay to let yourself be healed and change. I think it's all too easy to be so comfortable in your pain, so much so that you don't look for an answer or way to change. 

As I've learn how to let Christ fill in those cracks, I've been able to see things in such a clearer way. The other day I went to MLC, which is just a meeting for the missionary leaders and I did a role-play to which our mission president listened in. Afterward, he said, "I saw eyes turn and listen to Sis. Begazo as she taught about repentance. You can just see it; it's in her." That was one of the biggest compliments I've ever received. I want people to literally see my faith within me. 

Just some of my thoughts for this week. I won't be able to reply to emails until next Saturday, we're changing our p-day to visit the Anne Frank Huis, so sorry in advance for the late replies. I love you all. Hope you have a great week. 

ANOTHER TRANSFER GONE....JUST GONE

link for image

http://www.canterburytimes.co.uk/

clocks-change-British-Summer-Time-observe/

story-26141398-detail/story.html

Hey everyone!

So, instead of going on another rant about how fast time seems to be going, I will just let it suffice by saying Sis. Kimmons and I are staying. I finally get to have another companion for two transfers. I will be going on to my 9th transfer and we (as Zusters) only get 12. I think I might start freaking out when I get to the double digits. It's super crazy to think about and this transfer is the shortened transfers which means it's only 5 weeks long. It's done the week before Christmas.

Anyways, this week went pretty well. Nothing too exciting happened, although nearly all of our appointments got cancelled...so that was fun. But everything worked out as it always does. This past week I've been thinking a lot about "enjoying the chapter of life you're in." A few months before I left on my mission I remember talking to a friend about putting life, whether that be your worries, ambitions, of wat dan ook, on pause in order to serve a mission.

Sometimes it seems really scary. I remember at the beginning of my mission it was really difficult for me to hear from some of my friends all of the things they were doing. Many of them were getting Law degrees and PH.D.s, some were going onto Med School, etc. All of the things for which I had/have such great ambition and desire.

There were moments where I found it really difficult to focus and not think that I might have made a mistake by pausing my life and coming on a mission. I'm a year out and I know that I didn't make a mistake. I always knew it, but sometimes that vision became blurry when I paid attention to what was happening on the outside.

In mission-lingo, when someone is close to finishing their mission we say that he or she is "dying". We had a "dying" missionary in our district this transfer and he would always joke with me and Kimmons that we're next. Including the next one, I have 4 transfers left; kimmons has 3. Throughout this transfer all of the younger missionaries would mess with us and say, "wow, you're practically dead."

A moment like that happened a few days ago when we were doing a service project and one elder asked me why I didn't freak out like all the other missionaries usually did when someone would say that they are almost dead. Without really thinking about it, I just said, "I'm fine with dying. I don't have any huge regrets on my mission because I've tried to give the all that I had everyday. When the time comes I will go home and move on with my life."

"Really?" asked another elder, "I have a lot of regrets." I remember at the very beginning of my mission another missionary told me that when he was "dying". I've learned that regret can be more easily avoided as we try to develop and become more aware of the consequences of our actions. I remember an apostle saying one time that all major sins can be avoided merely by being obedient to the commandments we are given.

Most of the time we will not see or understand all the consequences of our actions. If you do your best to be obedient then you never really have to worry about understanding it. Which, I think, is really cool. If I am obedient to what I know or believe to be true and right then I don't have to worry about having any major regrets in my life. That only comes by constantly pondering and learning but, more importantly, apply the additional knowledge and revelation that you do receive.

Sometimes, it is still hard when people say, "wow, you're almost done! What are you going to after?" My response, "I'm not exactly sure...I'll cross that bridge when I come to it." Sometimes that fear seeps in every now and then but that's okay. It keeps me conscious of what I need to do now in my life.

The other day when I was really freaking out about it, I made a list of what I've done in the past 5 years - van af 2010 I have been to 7 different countries, earned a college degree, completed a fellowship, and am on a mission. That calmed me down and gave me hope for the future. I've gained a firm testimony that as I've learned how to daily dedicate my life and actions to what God would have me do then everything is going to work out. But I also know you're not going to see it until you're done with it and move on to another chapter in your life.

It's really hard. It's really really hard. It takes a lot of work, diligence, and sacrifice but I'm grateful for it. I was talking to Kimmons the other night when we were having mini-freak-outs about going home and saying goodbye to the friends we've made as they go home and I've come to the conclusion that God really, truly does trust us enough to work through things in our life. We are not going to be spoon-fed our next steps in life.

God is not going to print out step-by-step directions on how to achieve or do something in our lives. But He will give aid through our prayers. He will guide you if He knows you will truly do all that He asks. Sometimes it gets annoying and I become irritated but it's really cool to see the person you've become after going through it all.

I'm so grateful for chapters in our lives because we don't need to worry so much about the next one if we do all that we can in the one we're in. I've constantly had to tell myself, "I'm on a mission now, I don't need to worry about 5 years from now. My path is always going to be different from others."

Enjoy where you are and start where you are. Be willing to grow and change when humbling experiences come your way and be grateful for the hard things. It really is worth it. Hard work will always be worth if it you're going in the right direction. Understanding that direction comes with constant communication with God...and a lot of trial and error (at least in my experience).

Love you all! Hope you have a great week.

A Year Out

image link:  https://www.pinterest.com/pin/202099101998580269/

Hey everyone!

So this week has been quite a crazy one! Monday we went to the bunkers that are in Ijmuiden. It was really really fun. You could crawl in some of them, so obviously we did. You had to go into these tiny holes in the pitch-black rooms full of just bricks and trash. We also climbed on the top of them and to where we could overlook the beach and the arena. I wish I could send you some of the pictures but since we email at the library, we can't use a USB to upload anything.

Tuesday through Thursday I had to do a double exchange so I was in Den Haag and Zoetemeer. Thursday was my year-mark, I didn't do anything special. We had a busy day and I was too exhausted anything super exciting so we're celebrating it today, just hanging out in Haarlem with the Elders, plus it's Sis. Kimmons birthday tomorrow so it's sort of a half-way-in-between celebration for the both of us. 

Friday was super fun, we did a service project for our bishop and then had an appointment with one of our investigators who is just harilious. She said that when we have children we can just send them to her if they get too much to handle and they will live with her in Nederland. She's from Suriname so sister Kimmons always calls her "surimama". She's very much like a mom/grandmother to us. Every time we come to her house she makes us eat even when we say we're not that hungry. I've learned to not eat certain days when I know we have certain appointments with people because they always make us eat despite the fact that we tell them we have a dinner appointment right after.

Anyways, Friday was super fun because we got to have dinner with a member who lives in Amsterdam. She and her husband are so hilarious. We just laughed the whole night. Her husband comes from Suirname so when he asked me what I wanted to eat I obviously said "Roti", and he taught me how to make it. I got it on video! I'm so happy hehe. We had a "sing-off" between us, the elders and them. They won, but I'm convinced it was because it was in their house :p. We were all laughing the entire night.

Saturday was the day I was looking forward to the most. It was a Halloween party with one of the members. She's from Australia but she lived in America for a while. It was a onesie pajama only party so everyone had to wear one to enter. We had some minions there, sully (from Monsters Inc.) a few different animals i.e. a frog, fox, cow, pig, bear, koala, unicorns, Sis. Kimmons was a flying squirrel. There was superman and wonder woman. but I was BATMAN! I even had a cape! I love it, it's so comfortable! I've been wanting a batman onesie for a long time and now I finally have one! I sleep it in every night now lol.

I love Haarlem, the ward is so much fun and the city is beautiful! Fall is my favorite time of year and it's so beautiful to see the orange and yellow leaves falling from the trees in a very picturesque city. It's so crazy to think that I only have 6 months left on my mission...less than 6 months, because our missions were cut short. It's hard to think about life before the mission, it's really funny. This Sunday is transfer calls already, maybe this time Kimmons will stay and I'll finally have another companion for 2 transfers.

Love you all! Hope you have a great week! We are now in November! CRAZY. oh, and Happy 6th Birthday to my little brother, Daniel, on Friday. It's his golden birthday.

Hey

http://www.justaplanerideaway.com/2008/05/haarlem-the-netherlands.html

Hey sorry everyone for the lack of email, today has just been crazy, and I thought I would get back in time to finish emailing but I have to go run and catch a bus to a dinner in haarlem which is about an hour away.

I promise I will write one for the next two weeks. But everything is going great. I love Ijmuiden and Haarlem more and more everyday. I hit my year-mark on Thursday! It's crazy, I can't believe i'm this far out, I actually have less than 6 months left because they SHORTENED my mission (which I'm still really sad about). I mean it's only shortened by a week but I've realized how much you can actually get done in a week so it seems like a significant cut but life is life.

anyways, mijn collega zei dat we moeten vertrekken. Ik hou van jullie allemaal en sorry dat ik in nederlands schrijf maar dat is de taal in die mijn hersenen nu denkt. doei!

Wat op? oh and we have a new address

  

Photo Link:   https://www.corrietenboom.com/nl/familie-ten-boom

Hey everyone! Sorry for not emailing on Monday. Last week during weekly planning Sis. Kimmons and I decided to change our P-day to Friday (today) so that we could go to the Corrie Ten Boom Huis (which is closed on Mondays - some of the coolest things to do are always closed on monday, unfortunately). Many people have told us that it is better than the Anne Frank Huis in Amsterdam so we're excited. :) We're going there after I write this email.

Oh, and just a little note, our mission office has to change buildings so starting 29 October this will be the new address to send me letters and stuff:

Schuttersveld 2

2316 ZA, Leiden

Netherlands

So I LOVE IJMUIDEN/ HAARLEM! Haarlem was actually one of my dream cities to serve in and even though we live in Ijmuiden we still get to do some work in Haarlem. And most of the members live in Haarlem so we're there multiple times throughout the week. It's so great, the members and the city are awesome. And if you are familiar with the movie "The Best 2 Years", Haarlem and the members of Haarlem are the ones who were in the film. It's funny because I've been asked multiple times by several members if I've seen the film and they all tell me the parts of the movie in which they were.

The past few weeks have been really great. We're always finding new little adventures to do as we do the work. There is bunker museum in Ijmuiden, where you can go through the bunkers that are still intact from the war. We are planning to do that one of these P-days. Time just feels like it keeps running out because we have so many things we want to accomplish.

I'm getting into the mode of Sister Training Leader - which means going to lots of meetings, careful detailed planning (i.e. bus and train schedules, etc.), and going on exchanges every week with the other sisters in my Zone. Luckily, I only have two other companion ships, one in Zoetemeer and the other in Den Haag, so I only have to go on exchanges once a week. Sometimes STLs have to do back to back exchanges. I actually don't mind exchanges, i really like them but I like working in my city with my companion more which was something I wasn't super enthusiastic about when I found out I was one. But I've learned to really love it and appreciate it. Plus, it's also fun going to other cities and getting to work with more sisters.

This week has just been a really good week. Tuesday, we had Temple Conference which meant that we got to go to the temple in Zoetemeer and then with two other zones got to have a very uplifting conference - just the spiritual boost you need to go through a transfer. It's always fun to see other missionaries you've served around and catch up.

There were a few things I took away from Temple Conference:

1. We had to take a 6.24  am bus in order to catch a train, which, when we got there, was cancelled. We were supposed to do a 9.00 am session  but because we didn't have a train we had to do the second session. I was really frustrated because I knew we wouldn't have a lot of time in the celestial room (which we didn't, we only had about 3 minutes before we had to leave to go the conference). BUT! When I got there in time for the second session, one of the sisters came up to me and said, "I am so happy you are here. I was praying that we would be in the same session together!" My frustration completely left me and I became grateful. My prayer wasn't answered but someone else's was and I guess that was more important. Actually, one of my most favorite things is to be an answer to someone else's prayer. I just love being able to be a conduit of showing God's love for another person; it just feels really great.

2. Two quotes that were my favorite of the conference were:

"If you allow God to be a part of every aspect of your life, He will show you that you are capable in EVERY aspect of your life."

"You can count the number of seeds in an apple but you cannot count the number of apples in a seed."

Both reminded me of the testimony by one of the new Apostles, Elder Rutland, when he said, "[God] has not called you for what you've done, He has called you for what He needs to do through you as long as you do it His way."

It's something I've thought a lot about; and getting ride of my pride is also something that I've been really practicing. On my exchange on wednesday with one of the sisters from Den Haag, she asked me for advice on what to do when her companion says certain things that really make her frustrated. I told her that most of the time her reaction is directly related to your initial reaction to something you don't like. If I've learned anything by having to be with another person 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with out a single break is that it requires you to swallow your pride, retain your self-control, and really think about your reaction before expressing what you feel. How you react makes the biggest difference in finding a solution to a problem.

She said that she was an excellent communicator. So I asked her to give me an example of a situation. And instead of saying, "wow, you're actually not that good of a communicator as you think," I immediately prayed for a way in which I could help her understand another way to "communicate." I've learned that yes, when people (myself included) think that they are a good communicator it's often not the communication the other person needs. So, I've come up with my own way of reacting to people, which I call, "creative communication." Instead of saying proudly, "I'm a great communicator and people are just stupid when they don't understand what I mean," I've learned to understand how to communicate in such a way as to help other person truly understand what I mean. You just have to step down from your pride and get on their level. I've challenged all my sisters to try it and see the difference it makes in their companionship unity.

Annnnnnd unfortunately, as much as I would like to finish this, we have to run and catch a bus. Just email me back if you want to talk more about this. I love you all! See ya!

Another transfer gone....

One of these days I will be able to have a companion for more than one transfer. ahah Sis. Fleming was the only one of my companions that I've had for 2. So, I am being transferred to Ijmuiden and will be in the Haarlem ward. My new companion is sister kimmons and when everyone was calling me last night they all said that we are gonna rock because we're both really funny. Oh, and I was also called to be the new Sister Training Leader of the Den Haag Zone...so that's going to be interesting. 

It's kind of funny, I always told people that I never wanted to be a STL because I just like working in my city with my own companion, just doin' our thing. But it will be good. And actually, no was really really surprised. Some of them even told me, "Yeah, I was waiting until they were going to call you." So I was really the only one that was shocked. 

But anyways, on to my thoughts for the past few weeks. I've been thinking a lot about repentance and the laws of righteousness. We come across a lot people that tell us that God doesn't exist because of war and because of the bad things that happen to us in our lives. And for a few days I was trying to figure out at what point in history did mankind get the idea that war equals the non-existence of God or that experiencing hard and difficult times equaled the non-existence of God. 

At what point did we get it in our minds that we had the power to determine if God exists or not? Honestly, I do get frustrated sometimes and wish that the human race would just get over itself already. Get over the fact there is opposition in the world and get over that fact of the universal truth we all, eventually suffer in our lives. 

Why was I thinking about repentance, you ask? Well because I've actually found myself talking about that subject with a lot of people lately and I've come more and more to appreciate the gift of repentance. In regards to the laws of righteousness, to which I was connecting with repentance, another universal truth: we all sin. And sin keeps us away; it puts this wall against the blessings of God. Newton's 3rd law: every action has a reaction. Every choose we make has a consequence. 

Repentance, when I teach it I explain it as the action of opening the door to receiving God's blessings. But taking that first step is always the hardest. Now many people react and say, "Well, if God really loved me then He would take it away. If God really did exist then I would not be in this situation suffering." Eerlijk gezegd, 9 times out of 10 the situation people are in is because of their own choices and actions and reactions. And it is prideful to think that we are too good to learn from our consequences and believe that God should just deliver us. He is not going to do that and He will never do that unless we repent. 

For example, you are a student in French 101. If you don't do the work that is required of you to learn how to speak, read, and write French then you fail. But by our reasoning, the natural man reasoning, the teacher should just let us advance despite us not learning the lessons that we needed to learn. So, we are now in 102, and we have no idea what is happening; we are uncomfortable among the other students who were obedient, humbled themselves and asked for help when they didn't understand. We will not want to stay. 

The purpose of repentance is not there to make us feel shamed in front of people or in front of God. Repentance is there for us to be able to learn how to be comfortable in the presence of God. Obedience and humility is the outward expression of our love for Him. And then you have some who say, "well, why do I have to show God my love when I haven't seen His?" 

And I think that's were we make the mistake. That's where the misunderstanding comes in about repentance and humbling ourselves. He already showed us He loves us. He sent His son, Jesus Christ to suffer and die for us; to take upon himself all that we are, everything; so that both He and Jesus Christ can help us to come back to Him. The scriptures say that no unclean thing can dwell with God. We cannot, by the laws of righteousness, dwell and be with God if you do not repent. We cannot have God in our daily lives unless we repent. Unless we use the gift of the atonement to enable us to become better. 

And that is the purpose of missionary work. It is not to collect people or numbers. But to bring that knowledge to those who are searching for the truth; to tell people that God did not just set us here on this earth and said, "Well, here you are, try your best to get back me. Good luck." God is an unchangeable God and He has set the way for us through and with the help of Jesus Christ and the organization of His gospel. Pak zijn hand vast en Hij zal je helpen. 

Love, Jen

(Picture link:  https://www.zephyradventures.com/trip-photos//  )

Newest Post from Jen

It has been a while since I have last posted anything from my missionary daughter who is serving our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ out in the Dutch lands because our connection has not been the best.  For some reason her emails have not been getting to me.  She said that others have reported the same problem, so now things seem to working so here is her latest letter.

Beautiful photo shared from:   http://www.creativejewishmom.com/2011/10/container-gardening-in-holland.html

The past few weeks have been interesting. Because my companion speaks spanish, when she doesn´t know how to say something in English or Dutch, she says the sentence in Spanish to which my brain relates it to what I already know in spanish or translates it into French and then I reply in English but will sometimes have to reply in Dutch because I know the Dutch word and not the English translation. Did that make any sense? If it did then yay, if it didn´t then welcome to my brain for the past few weeks.

Between the two of us there is about 4 (maybe more like 3 1/2) languages going on in our conversations throughout the day. It´s fun but sometimes at the end of the day my brain just hurts. Nothing super outstanding has happened here in Apeldoorn...yet. I say yet because we are working on it. We´re still in the finding process. Long hours of contacting but we get to know each other pretty well.

We know a lot of each others´ life stories and we´re at the point where we make up life stories for each other. And can I just say I´m a lot nicer in the future/past of her life story. She has me married and divorced 3 times with 15 children, but at least (she says...) I will be rich and be able to travel the world. ahaha

We had a zone conference last week which was really amazing. There always comes a time when you need that spiritual boost to carry you through another transfer. One of the more significant things that I took away from the conference is how to start where you are now. Often times we don´t do or work on what we want to because we think that it´s too late for us; that we are too far behind. But as you use the atonement as a DAILY tool in your life to become better than you really can start everyday completely new and change.

Last sunday, one of the elders gave a talk in sacrament meeting about the atonement. And he said that the atonement is there so that we can feel at home in the presence of God. Christ paid the price for you and He doesn´t want you to pay Him back; it´s paid for. He just wants you to come to Him so that He can help you. He said that God doesn´t just set you on earth and say, `okay, there is the path, make your way back to Me.` Christ is there to help you along the way. He will hold your hand and walk with you if you let Him.

I´ve noticed that as I learn how to better apply the atonement in my life, my conviction of where I am and who I am at this time becomes stronger. I am still astonished by how much potential each of us have but most of the time we do reach it because we think it´s all up to us to get there. We are not supposed to do it by ourselves. It´s not possible and it´s not how it´s supposed to be.

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This past week I've been really thinking/ pondering about decisions. But before I go into my email, I wanted to tell you guys this riddle/joke-thing that is very popular in the mission. I personally don't think it's that funny (well, actually it's kind of growing on me)but so many missionaries love it and sometimes their face lights up when they tell it, so I act like I've never heard it before when they want to tell me hehe. It's kind of a running joke so I will spread it out through my email (like you do in a conversation with someone when you are telling the joke). Let me know what you think. 

Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator? 

A: You open the door, put the elephant in and then close the door.

The reason for the my subject choice this week is because of the sequence of events that happened last weekend. It all started on Saturday. We were on exchanges, so I was with the Sister Training Leader in Apeldoorn and sis. Ramirez was in Leeuwarden. I had this really really busy day planned and after we were about a 30 minute bike ride from our home my bike got a flat tire. A FLAT TIRE. So flat that I ended up having to walk about 45 minutes to our next appointment and then walking it again for about an hour to the bike shop (because it was closer than our house). 

Michael (the guy as the bike shop) fixed my tire which had a hole due to the tiniest piece of glass. That annoying little piece of green glass. (a rant on how the small things really mess you up is for another email another time). Long story short, got my bike fixed, was able to make the train to Zwolle and exchange back. 

Q: How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? 

A: You open the door, take the elephant out and put the giraffe in and then close the door. 

That was Saturday. On to Sunday. After church we biked to another far away place to look someone up and just after we finished my bike got another flat tire! This time on the back wheel. By the time we were able to get back home I had missed the baptism someone to whom I´d promised I´d be there.The bike shop doesn´t open until Tuesday so I had to wait till then to get it fixed. 

So on Monday, we had to rent OV Fiets, just bikes that you can borrow. Just a side note, I strongly dislike back-pedal brakes which are the only types of bikes the OV Fiets have. Anyways, we get the OV Fiets and do our shopping; on the way back home the strap on the bag of groceries broke which made the bag fall. And it fell just as I was about to cross the street to which then I had to use those stupid back-pedal brakes which didn't work so well and nearly led me to getting hit by a car. 

At this point, you are probably asking yourself why am I not just taking a bus. Well, in Apeldoorn, buses aren't really thing. Which means that you get to have a lot of great adventures with bikes, such as this. :) 

Q: There is a party and everyone is invited. Which animal is not at the party? 

A: The giraffe because it's in the refrigerator.

By the time I get home I realize that my companion is nowhere to be found. So, I put the groceries inside and then go back out to go find my companion. All the while, I was just getting really frustrated with what was happening the past 3 days. Once I finally found my companion I asked where she was, and she said she stopped to buy to some candy and she thought that I saw her and would wait. 

So just being frustrated with life for awhile I just kept praying to calm down. The scripture of Alma 37:35 kept coming to mind that says, "O, remember, my son, and learn wisdom in thy youth; yea, learn in thy youth to keep the commandments of God." In my mind, I changed the word "learn" to "decide". Decide to be wise in your youth. Decide in your youth to keep the commandments of God. 

As I thought a lot about the impact of deciding I realized the importance of deciding early on which way you are going to go instead of waiting until the circumstance arises. Ik bedoel that you have to decide how and who you are going to be before the opportunity comes when you have to make an important decision. 

For example, I decided when I was 9 years old to go on a mission. It became really difficult to make the decision to come on a mission as the time drew closer but I remembered telling 9-year-old self that I was going to go on a mission. So I went. When I was 11 years old, I decided that I was going to do everything in my power to go to college. So I arranged my life in such a way as to help me achieve that goal. I was 12 when I decided I wanted to travel the world. 

When I was thinking about all this during my week I realized that all that I have accomplished and became thus far is because of the decisions that I made when I was a child. Now that I've become older I know that I have to start making more important decisions that will impact my future, for example, getting married in the temple. But I can also do that with the smaller things life; like deciding now that I will not react immediately to something that I don't like or agree with without thinking about. 

It's a practice; it takes a lot of work, effort, and sacrifice just like those other things that I did in my life. But as I see where I am now and looking back to then where I wanted to be, I can say with all conviction that deciding years before about doing something I will have to face in the future and then working as hard as I can to get there, that it's worth. Becoming something in your life is worth it. Start where you are right now. 

Q: So, there is a river full of alligators. How do you get across? 

A: Just swim because the alligators are at the party. 

I hope you all have a great week. I love you! 

Heartbreak yet again...

So,this Wednesday is transfers again and Sister Hanson is going to Gouda! It was really disappointing...we wanted another transfer together. It was such a great transfer together! I´m really going to miss her! 

This was a pretty regular week. Just working hard as usual, trying to find people who we can teach, and really people who just want to talk to us. One guy set up an appointment with us. I had to teach him by myself because he only spoke French. I was so stressed and scared, one because my French skill has decreased tremendously and two, because Gospel French is so much more difficult than conversational French. 

I was praying the whole lesson to be able to have the right words to speak to this man who is nearly blind and deaf. It was really cool because despite my limited amount of vocabulary and skill in being able to teach in French, you could still feel the spirit. Sometimes it´s really hard to tune into the spirit when your fear of your lack of ability is in the way. I was focusing as hard as I have ever done in a lesson to be able to listen to the spirit to guide my words and be able to hear what I needed to say.

It was really cool experience. And my French was in no way perfect but I was able to get my point across. I´ve learned that gift of tongues doesn´t necessarily mean you will be able to speak the language perfectly or even fluently but it will carry your message into the hearts of the people. I´m learning that more and more. Because it doesn´t matter as much as to what I say but as to what they feel. All you can do is try to bring the spirit as best you can. 

Yesterday was a farewell to a guy who´s going on his mission to England. The talks were so great. The third speaker was my favorite because he talked about how Christ will always make up the difference as long as you let Him help you. Whether you can only give 20 percent or 5 percent He will make up the rest. Kom toch aan. We all want to get back to Heavenly Father, Christ´s path is the same as ours, He can help us if only we come to Him. 

I´ve never had a bigger testimony of that than on mission. There are some days where my best is literally 2 percent and as much as I try I can´t go further than that and I´ve seen God just step in. I love it when He does that. Most of the things we worry about never happen. So why do we stress so much? I think it´s a side effect from being human. I´ve been studying in the New Testament and I was in 2 Corinthians or Gelations and Paul was telling them that we needed to put off the natural man and become a new creature. 

That refining process is quite difficult and sometimes langzaam and painful but I´m also learning how to truly appreciate it. I know that in every difficult incident or circumstance in your life, if you really look hard you can find a blessing that came out of it; whether it´s a change of your character or a new skill. You can always see God´s hand in your life if you truly and sincerely look for it. 

A few funny things that happened this week because I end this email. I ate herring for the first time (a whole one with onions) it was so disgusting! I didn´t like it at all! I don´t even know why it´s a thing among missionaries. The second was sis. Hansen borrowed my label maker and put a label on my name tag to which I never noticed. (and Sis. Hansen completely forgot that she did something to my name-tag)  When we went to a lunch appointment I was asked to give the prayer and it went something like this: "Will you say the prayer, sis. ...poop? It says `poop`" After a few seconds of confusion we all started laughing so hard, Bro. and Sis. Kabel were laughing so hard that they were crying. 

Well, that´s all for now folks! Love you all! Have a great week :)